Well, it's finally here. I'm writing a blog. Something I never thought I'd do... But people change opinions change and so, here I am. Guarantee it won't be the most brilliant thing you've ever read (I mean if anyone's out there actually reading this. Probably not)
But anyway, this will never be a people pleasing blog by any means. I'm not here to try and write what I think people want to hear. All I'm doing is getting my feelings out on page. Think of it as a peek into my messed up head. It clearly has a sign that says "Enter at your own risk" Follow it :) Understand it fully. Because who knows what might come out of my mouth.
I cant exactly promise it will be the greatest things all the time.
But, let's get to the real point of my first EVER blog post. Drum roll please.... GROWING UP. Something you wanted to do when you were like 10 and had that ridiculous 9 o' clock curfew. But now that I'm 17, almost 18 (yikes), growing up is the last thing is the last thing I want to do. I dont really want to be a senior. I dont want to be worrying about my college applications and hopefully getting into my dream college, which by the way is ST. NORBERT.
It's crazy to think that I'm officially a senior this year. Going into high school, I know we all had the same thought. When the heck is this going to end? I'm sick of all of this drama and it's not worth my time. But.. looking back at my high school years (look at me sounding all old. bhaha) I know it's what's really made me who I am. I've made the most amazing memories that I'm sure to never forget. I've met some of the most interesting people. Like my friend Lexi and her AMAZING southern accent. Or my friend Blaine who coincidentally calls me wenchy every time he sees me. (dumbass.smiley face buddy.)
My friends have taught me alot of things. Like gay best friends are the best thing you could ever ask for. (yeah you know who you are.) I've learned that you can adopt your friends as children and be the worst parent EVER :) I've learned that sleepovers were never meant to get you any sleep. I've learned that like I've mentioned before, people change. You can go from having the best of times to being this close to starting a fight outside of Applebees (most fucked up night ever) I've learned that you can have multiple mommies. That I will ALWAYS have someone to turn to if I ever need someone to call at 3 am. That study sessions never actually led to studying.
And so much more it would take ages to type it all out.
Leaving high school is going to be the scariest thing I've ever done. I feel like I'm going to be leaving my whole life behind. Everthing that I've known for the past four years is all going to change after I graduate. No more late homecoming nights. No more cruising around in my car, 'stalking' people. Everthing I look forward to... gone.
My whole outlook on high school has definitely changed. When I was in ninth grade, all I wanted to be was a senior. Have all that seemingly amazing power. Now that I am one, it just seems that I'm being kicked out of high school by a big, invisible boot. Telling me I need to stop dwelling on what used to be and get used to the fact that I'm going to be an ADULT. With adult responsibilities and adult problems. Like how am I ever going to pay for school? What if college isn't my thing and I hate every second of it.
WHAT I HOPE: EVERYONE WILL RELATE TO WHAT I'M SAYING aND REALIZE THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES WITH THESE SCARY THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH THEIR HEADS. (I think I'll try to make this something that's part of every blog entry I have- or an equivalent to it. See it as a goal I've set for myself and anyone who just might be reading this. Who knows... maybe this will be all this is meant to start out as... an online diary entry to get all my thought and feelings out there. But, maybe it can be a place where at least one person can come and have a laugh and maybe find something to relate to. That's proven kind of hard to do when you're a teenager and it seems like the whole world is out there to get you. Believe me... I feel it's impending doom too. You're DEFINITELY not the only one.
Live. Laugh. Love. <3 Micheala<3
PS: I apoligize for any horrible spelling errors. They bother the fudge out of me but I dont always catch them.
No comments:
Post a Comment