So it's about a month into school. I feel I can fairly judge my teachers and work load without it unexlainably changing. High school as a senior is really an experience. My homework load has really calmed downed tremendously from the previous three years. I practically took all of the slack off classes that I could. Well, not really slack off, just electives I've been really wishing to take all of high school.
I usually do this mentally in my head every year. It's like an evaluation of all my teachers that I do, of the ones I do and don't like. But I thought I'd write it down, share my opinions with everyone. :)
Well first hour I have study hall. I have my old gym teacher. Not much excitement there.
Second hour I have easily my favorite class of the year... AP Psychology. Mr Wiskerchen is definitely one of the best teachers I've ever met. He has got to be one of the funniest teachers I've ever met but also one of the best. He has that rare combonation going in his class... You have loads of fun but you also learn a ton of things. You can have fun in that class and still feel like you've accomplished something. You can joke about just about anything in his class.
Third hour i have Trig with Mrs. Diring. I dont know what possessed me to take a fourth year of math when my brain obviously struggles with it. I barely breezed by in all of my other math classes. Also, I dont really like the teacher. She kind of scares me. Lucky it's only for a semester.
Fourth hour I have LUNCH! I'm really glad I have really good people to share my lunch hour with. That is what I have nicknamed as my gossip hour. I have the best people at my table!
Fifth hour I have Sci Fi and Fantasy with Mrs. Guerndt. It's kind of a big old slack off class right after lunch. I mean hell, all we've really done is read a couple stories and watched Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Enough said.
Sixth Hour I have Child Development with Mrs. Pokel. I dont really like the company I have to keep in that class. We havent really learned much.
Seventh Hour I have Choir with Baum. I really dont like the company I have to keep in that class either. Most of the girls are highly annoying and immature. :p
Eighth Hour I have Creative Writing with Mrs Baudhuin. It's a pretty easy class cause I like writing. No complaints there.
This year, the only real classes I have to worry about so far are Trig and AP Psych but that was my predicition. Honestly, when I really take a good look at my schedule, I cant say I really really hate any of my classes. I mean, I willingly signed up for them right? Cant complain about what's already been done.
MY GOAL: Not actually getting senioristis this year. Last year I had a serious case of junioritis. It was kind of unexplainable. I hope senioristis doesnt hit me harder. :P
Live. Laugh. Love <3 Micheala<3
Tuesday, September 25, 2012
Tuesday, August 28, 2012
Appearances are Everything
All my life, I've been the chubby girl. And that kind of shit follows you in everything you do. Do I like being the way I am? HELL NO! Do I wish I could just snap my fingers and make myself perfect? HELL YES! Because ever since I was little, I've probably had one of the lowest self images of myself. And that's something that also never goes away. Even if I were to lose all the weight that I wanted, I find it hard to think that it would make all the voices that have built up in my head for all of these years.
Needless to say, it bugs the hell out of me when the skinniest people I've ever seen obsess over their weight. Not everybody gets to be nice and thin and I wish the people who the chance to have to not have to try and worry about what they put in their mouth would just SHUT UP! It's fucking obnoxious to hear. I would love to trade bodies if you'd like to actually have something to complain about.
But I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this is all I think about when it comes to appearances. Because it's not. Personally, I think people are too hung up on appearances and that also bugs the hell out of me. Like people legit dont go out with someone if they dont wear 10 pounds of makeup and weigh 100 pounds soaking wet. Those girls have a better chance of getting guys then a girl who's a little overweight will ever have. Even if the skinny girl is boring as hell and the heavier girl has a great personality. Nobody cares about whats on the inside anymore. It's about who looks on your arm. And I think thats a bunch of bullshit.
Society can really fuck up a person's self esteem. I mean, I know it's fucked with mine. Anybody who knows me probably thinks thats a crock of shit. Because on the outside, yeah, I am an outgoing person and I am going to tell you what I'm thinking. But my insides dont match my outside. On the inside, sometimes I feel like I'm just a train wreck waiting to happen sometimes.Only a choice few people know that side of me. I dont like letting that side out often. Cause once I do, it ALL comes out.
But here's what i have promised myself: Try not to dwell on stupid shit that I cant change. I cant change the whole male population's single minded obsession with looks. Is it still going to bug the hell out of me? You bet it is. I cant change the fact that super skinny girls think they're just as fat as me. Everyone is apparently critical of themselves and nobodys going to change that either. I've also promised myself to not let my setbacks keep me bounded. I've also promised myself to find an outlet to let my feelings out and to not hold them in anymore. Cause things could get real ugly real fast if I just let my emotions get all bottled up inside.
WHAT I HOPE IS THAT EVERYONE HAS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO... NO MATTER WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS! I know I definitely have that person in my life. I mean recently, I had him up until 1:30 in the morning because I could not sleep. I mean I feel like a pile of shit because I kept him up so late. But he tells me he really didn't mind. Didn't make me feel any less horrible for doing it :/
But I would like to personally thank him for putting up with my sorry ass. Thank you Blaine for listening to all my shit the past couple of days. You're like the best friend a person could ask for. Thanks for making me feel better after these past couple of days which have been shitty as hell. I only hope I can do the same for you one day if you ever need someone to talk to into the wee hours of the night. Everybody deserves a friend like you. I told you things I dont tell anyone and I know you're not going to go behind my back and tell everyone you know. Cause that's not the kind of person you are and I appreciate you for that. <3
Well anywho, there's my rant for the day :) feels good to get stuff off my chest sometimes.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE <3 Micheala<3
Needless to say, it bugs the hell out of me when the skinniest people I've ever seen obsess over their weight. Not everybody gets to be nice and thin and I wish the people who the chance to have to not have to try and worry about what they put in their mouth would just SHUT UP! It's fucking obnoxious to hear. I would love to trade bodies if you'd like to actually have something to complain about.
But I'm not going to sit here and tell you that this is all I think about when it comes to appearances. Because it's not. Personally, I think people are too hung up on appearances and that also bugs the hell out of me. Like people legit dont go out with someone if they dont wear 10 pounds of makeup and weigh 100 pounds soaking wet. Those girls have a better chance of getting guys then a girl who's a little overweight will ever have. Even if the skinny girl is boring as hell and the heavier girl has a great personality. Nobody cares about whats on the inside anymore. It's about who looks on your arm. And I think thats a bunch of bullshit.
Society can really fuck up a person's self esteem. I mean, I know it's fucked with mine. Anybody who knows me probably thinks thats a crock of shit. Because on the outside, yeah, I am an outgoing person and I am going to tell you what I'm thinking. But my insides dont match my outside. On the inside, sometimes I feel like I'm just a train wreck waiting to happen sometimes.Only a choice few people know that side of me. I dont like letting that side out often. Cause once I do, it ALL comes out.
But here's what i have promised myself: Try not to dwell on stupid shit that I cant change. I cant change the whole male population's single minded obsession with looks. Is it still going to bug the hell out of me? You bet it is. I cant change the fact that super skinny girls think they're just as fat as me. Everyone is apparently critical of themselves and nobodys going to change that either. I've also promised myself to not let my setbacks keep me bounded. I've also promised myself to find an outlet to let my feelings out and to not hold them in anymore. Cause things could get real ugly real fast if I just let my emotions get all bottled up inside.
WHAT I HOPE IS THAT EVERYONE HAS SOMEONE OUT THERE THAT YOU CAN TELL ANYTHING TO... NO MATTER WHAT TIME OF DAY IT IS! I know I definitely have that person in my life. I mean recently, I had him up until 1:30 in the morning because I could not sleep. I mean I feel like a pile of shit because I kept him up so late. But he tells me he really didn't mind. Didn't make me feel any less horrible for doing it :/
But I would like to personally thank him for putting up with my sorry ass. Thank you Blaine for listening to all my shit the past couple of days. You're like the best friend a person could ask for. Thanks for making me feel better after these past couple of days which have been shitty as hell. I only hope I can do the same for you one day if you ever need someone to talk to into the wee hours of the night. Everybody deserves a friend like you. I told you things I dont tell anyone and I know you're not going to go behind my back and tell everyone you know. Cause that's not the kind of person you are and I appreciate you for that. <3
Well anywho, there's my rant for the day :) feels good to get stuff off my chest sometimes.
LIVE. LAUGH. LOVE <3 Micheala<3
Friday, August 17, 2012
Growing Up: The Scariest Thing You Will Ever Do
Well, it's finally here. I'm writing a blog. Something I never thought I'd do... But people change opinions change and so, here I am. Guarantee it won't be the most brilliant thing you've ever read (I mean if anyone's out there actually reading this. Probably not)
But anyway, this will never be a people pleasing blog by any means. I'm not here to try and write what I think people want to hear. All I'm doing is getting my feelings out on page. Think of it as a peek into my messed up head. It clearly has a sign that says "Enter at your own risk" Follow it :) Understand it fully. Because who knows what might come out of my mouth.
I cant exactly promise it will be the greatest things all the time.
But, let's get to the real point of my first EVER blog post. Drum roll please.... GROWING UP. Something you wanted to do when you were like 10 and had that ridiculous 9 o' clock curfew. But now that I'm 17, almost 18 (yikes), growing up is the last thing is the last thing I want to do. I dont really want to be a senior. I dont want to be worrying about my college applications and hopefully getting into my dream college, which by the way is ST. NORBERT.
It's crazy to think that I'm officially a senior this year. Going into high school, I know we all had the same thought. When the heck is this going to end? I'm sick of all of this drama and it's not worth my time. But.. looking back at my high school years (look at me sounding all old. bhaha) I know it's what's really made me who I am. I've made the most amazing memories that I'm sure to never forget. I've met some of the most interesting people. Like my friend Lexi and her AMAZING southern accent. Or my friend Blaine who coincidentally calls me wenchy every time he sees me. (dumbass.smiley face buddy.)
My friends have taught me alot of things. Like gay best friends are the best thing you could ever ask for. (yeah you know who you are.) I've learned that you can adopt your friends as children and be the worst parent EVER :) I've learned that sleepovers were never meant to get you any sleep. I've learned that like I've mentioned before, people change. You can go from having the best of times to being this close to starting a fight outside of Applebees (most fucked up night ever) I've learned that you can have multiple mommies. That I will ALWAYS have someone to turn to if I ever need someone to call at 3 am. That study sessions never actually led to studying.
And so much more it would take ages to type it all out.
Leaving high school is going to be the scariest thing I've ever done. I feel like I'm going to be leaving my whole life behind. Everthing that I've known for the past four years is all going to change after I graduate. No more late homecoming nights. No more cruising around in my car, 'stalking' people. Everthing I look forward to... gone.
My whole outlook on high school has definitely changed. When I was in ninth grade, all I wanted to be was a senior. Have all that seemingly amazing power. Now that I am one, it just seems that I'm being kicked out of high school by a big, invisible boot. Telling me I need to stop dwelling on what used to be and get used to the fact that I'm going to be an ADULT. With adult responsibilities and adult problems. Like how am I ever going to pay for school? What if college isn't my thing and I hate every second of it.
WHAT I HOPE: EVERYONE WILL RELATE TO WHAT I'M SAYING aND REALIZE THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES WITH THESE SCARY THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH THEIR HEADS. (I think I'll try to make this something that's part of every blog entry I have- or an equivalent to it. See it as a goal I've set for myself and anyone who just might be reading this. Who knows... maybe this will be all this is meant to start out as... an online diary entry to get all my thought and feelings out there. But, maybe it can be a place where at least one person can come and have a laugh and maybe find something to relate to. That's proven kind of hard to do when you're a teenager and it seems like the whole world is out there to get you. Believe me... I feel it's impending doom too. You're DEFINITELY not the only one.
Live. Laugh. Love. <3 Micheala<3
PS: I apoligize for any horrible spelling errors. They bother the fudge out of me but I dont always catch them.
But anyway, this will never be a people pleasing blog by any means. I'm not here to try and write what I think people want to hear. All I'm doing is getting my feelings out on page. Think of it as a peek into my messed up head. It clearly has a sign that says "Enter at your own risk" Follow it :) Understand it fully. Because who knows what might come out of my mouth.
I cant exactly promise it will be the greatest things all the time.
But, let's get to the real point of my first EVER blog post. Drum roll please.... GROWING UP. Something you wanted to do when you were like 10 and had that ridiculous 9 o' clock curfew. But now that I'm 17, almost 18 (yikes), growing up is the last thing is the last thing I want to do. I dont really want to be a senior. I dont want to be worrying about my college applications and hopefully getting into my dream college, which by the way is ST. NORBERT.
It's crazy to think that I'm officially a senior this year. Going into high school, I know we all had the same thought. When the heck is this going to end? I'm sick of all of this drama and it's not worth my time. But.. looking back at my high school years (look at me sounding all old. bhaha) I know it's what's really made me who I am. I've made the most amazing memories that I'm sure to never forget. I've met some of the most interesting people. Like my friend Lexi and her AMAZING southern accent. Or my friend Blaine who coincidentally calls me wenchy every time he sees me. (dumbass.smiley face buddy.)
My friends have taught me alot of things. Like gay best friends are the best thing you could ever ask for. (yeah you know who you are.) I've learned that you can adopt your friends as children and be the worst parent EVER :) I've learned that sleepovers were never meant to get you any sleep. I've learned that like I've mentioned before, people change. You can go from having the best of times to being this close to starting a fight outside of Applebees (most fucked up night ever) I've learned that you can have multiple mommies. That I will ALWAYS have someone to turn to if I ever need someone to call at 3 am. That study sessions never actually led to studying.
And so much more it would take ages to type it all out.
Leaving high school is going to be the scariest thing I've ever done. I feel like I'm going to be leaving my whole life behind. Everthing that I've known for the past four years is all going to change after I graduate. No more late homecoming nights. No more cruising around in my car, 'stalking' people. Everthing I look forward to... gone.
My whole outlook on high school has definitely changed. When I was in ninth grade, all I wanted to be was a senior. Have all that seemingly amazing power. Now that I am one, it just seems that I'm being kicked out of high school by a big, invisible boot. Telling me I need to stop dwelling on what used to be and get used to the fact that I'm going to be an ADULT. With adult responsibilities and adult problems. Like how am I ever going to pay for school? What if college isn't my thing and I hate every second of it.
WHAT I HOPE: EVERYONE WILL RELATE TO WHAT I'M SAYING aND REALIZE THEY'RE NOT THE ONLY ONES WITH THESE SCARY THOUGHTS RUNNING THROUGH THEIR HEADS. (I think I'll try to make this something that's part of every blog entry I have- or an equivalent to it. See it as a goal I've set for myself and anyone who just might be reading this. Who knows... maybe this will be all this is meant to start out as... an online diary entry to get all my thought and feelings out there. But, maybe it can be a place where at least one person can come and have a laugh and maybe find something to relate to. That's proven kind of hard to do when you're a teenager and it seems like the whole world is out there to get you. Believe me... I feel it's impending doom too. You're DEFINITELY not the only one.
Live. Laugh. Love. <3 Micheala<3
PS: I apoligize for any horrible spelling errors. They bother the fudge out of me but I dont always catch them.
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